Most of the times we do a lot of things that are not for ourselves but just to seek approval of our loved ones, some of us would go even a step further and do things because that is how the society is and they need to make sure that people who may not even know them would approve of them.
Why do we do this? Why is it that we let our happiness be dependent on variables that are beyond our control? Why do we let our life be ruled by others most of whom we do not even know? We often forget that we too deserve to be happy in the true sense of being happy, not just because people approve of what we do, not just because we are conditioned to be happy in a particular way. We do have to follow certain norms and yes we have to be accepted by people around us and the society but we do not have to be approved by everyone. People who continue to please others usually end up being unhappy.
In the process of making friends, family, colleagues, partner and society happy we stop being happy. Our happiness becomes dependent on appreciation of others something that is beyond our control. And then we start looking at others who do what they want and are happy and self-motivated and wonder where are we going wrong.
Since this system of seeking people’s approval and pleasing others has been our habit and then turned to our nature we do not realise it is the stress that we are creating for ourselves by being someone else, by pretending to be someone we are not, this continuous behaviour of being the way we should be and not the way we truly are causes the disharmony and discomfort. When we are our true self we may be finding it hard to find like-minded people but isn’t it worth to enjoy our life the way we really want to rather than to make all efforts to do things that please people but leaves us sad and empty from inside?
I often hear people saying I don’t know what is wrong, I am doing well in my job, I am a good mother/father/ partner etc., I studied well and was a brilliant student, life is smooth but I am not happy. I don’t know what is wrong …..Here is the answer , you may have done everything right but you may did not do it for yourself, you did all those things so that your father can be proud that his child is what he wanted to be and is successful by his measures not yours or your spouse would be happy , in pursuit of approval we forget to recognise the real person within us.
It is time to wake up, to listen to your real self and to follow heart, practice your passion, to do things that makes you happy, it is time to wake up to your true nature as at the end it is the quality of life we have lived and it is how we have used our own unique gift to live life our own way. No matter how much you are appreciated by others unless you are happy and satisfied with yourself you would never achieve peace of mind, and peace of mind comes only from self-realisation and not other’s appreciation.
We do a lot and go out of our way to seek appreciation which of course results in a temporary satisfaction but this won’t last long, the more you pretend today, the more effort is required tomorrow to have the same applause from others, they get used to you pleasing them while you get tired of pleasing and that is the time the conflict within you and with others starts.
It is good to be a people’s person but it is even better to be with people who love and appreciate you for who you are and not for who they want you to be.
I am sure if you sit back, there would be many relations that went sour because you stopped giving, you were tired of pleasing and they were not used to the real you holding back so why not be the true self you are and be happy with people who are just simply happy to have you in their lives and not for any other reason.
Take the first step and start the journey of self-realisation …. It is the feeling of satisfaction that would last a life time and it is this feeling that would keep you going, keep you motivated and would help you achieve your highest goals.
Be who you are & own your own Smile. Self-realisation is another step to liberating your Soul, to follow your heart and discover your highest potential